y'all have to meet one of my most treasured possessions, who i got for $1 at a thift store, but is priceless in my heart. 1999 officially licensed star wars the phantom menace collectors drink cup exclusive to pizza hut, KFC, and taco bell:
important detail: his arms are posable. 360° jar jar action 24/7.
he was first christened Jar Jar Drinks, on account of being able to stick a straw through his skull and. drink. however, he tastes strongly carcinogenic and probably contains several types of plastic that have been banned since his manufacture in 1999.
so, when i was working food service and a good chunk of my income was from cash tips, i started stuffing a fat roll of cash inside him for safe keeping. he became known as Jar Jar Banks.
since i stopped living a life where i have large sums of cash money i need to squirrel away regularly, the name fell out of favor. but i still cherish him, and i knew he’s destined to be filled with something someday.
well. i just realized i can hide my weed stash in his torso. so, without further ado, i would like to introduce you to this thrice-christened icon: Jar Jar Danks.
